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+ Arkansas Mensa Bulletin Board
| |-+ Gerry's Take (Moderator: Gerry)
| | |-+ Harry Post
Pages: 1   Go Down
Author Topic: Harry Post  (Read 2842 times)
Posts: 215

« on: September 26, 2014, 01:32:57 AM »


You know that your recent postings hardly constitute laying low for a
while. You're just trying to antagonize everyone.

I checked back and noticed that I failed to verify that you are
actually a member of Mensa. I think you exhibit a degree of raw
intelligence, but I have no way of knowing whether you've paid your
dues. I hereby demand proof of your membership in Mensa. If I don't
get it, you're gone. If I do get it, you're probably gone, at the
hands of our new censor.

It's obvious to me that you're not even trying to be civil. There are
two ways I can handle this.
The nice way: I tried that. It didn't work. I'm left to believe you
never had any serious intention of participating as a member of this
forum. Your entire goal has been to irritate and offend people.
Therefore I'm trying the not so nice way:

Why you stinking steaming bowl of refrigerated pasteurized monkey
snot! How dare you come here with your insipid insults, your raging
paranoia and your puny empty threats? How dare you disgrace this
place of learned discourse with your presence? You have fouled the
atmosphere and obscured the view. Your noise distracts, but has no
meaning. You seek to convince, but only convince us that we can
expect nothing from you save senseless blather and brainless rage.

Though your paranoia is in some sense justified, in that those who
know you are indeed out to get you, you don't know when you're being
attacked and when you're being treated as a friend. You think people
are attacking you when they're not. Just in case you are equally
insensitive to when you are genuinely being insulted, Bozo, now you
are getting the insult you have earned. This is what an attack looks
like, you melon-headed, flat-nosed, rat-haired, pansy-eared,
nonentity. You're not only a disgrace to Mensa, you're a source of
shame for all vertebrates, if not the entire animal kingdom. Your
delusions not only serve to prove your contact with reality is
ephemeral at best, they also establish your fantasies of grandeur.
Nobody really cares enough about you to insult your sorry butt, you
giant pestilent odiferous flatulent accumulation of wasted tissue.
Nobody but me, that is. That's a flaw in my character, which I am
soon to remedy by having no more to do with you.

You think you have enemies. You are right. You earn enemies easily,
quickly and skillfully. But no enemy wishes you more ill and causes
you more pain than the one who stares you in the face when you shave.
Take your thumb out of your nose and see that you're only making
yourself look pitiful, you glowing steaming pile of moose excrement.

Your pathetic attempts at profanity would embarrass anyone past the
fifth grade. It is as if you have spent hours watching South Park
without understanding it. I know all the profanities well, and I know
how to use them. I am reluctant to do so with such a child as you,
but I will do so if you make it necessary.

You dare invoke a deity to damn your enemies! How profoundly
pathetic! How dismally wretched! The weakest, puniest most
insensitive of all gods would surely hold your prayer in well-
deserved contempt. It is you who will suffer the wrath of the divine,
as you most conspicuously illustrate the imperfections of creation,
you flaming reeking festering vat of toad vomit.

You choose to attack the sexual preferences of those who offend you.
You ignorant buffoon! You, whose sexual proclivities are so bizarre
and disgusting that there is not even an Internet site devoted to
them, least of all should be throwing around the epithet "gay" as if
it were an insult, you moperer. May you catch your manhood in the
crayon sharpener you use as a sex toy! May you be the cuckold of your

Last but not least, I hold your ill-stated threats of violence in the
deepest and most profound contempt. You sniveling, shaking, quibbling
coward, raise one bony putrid hand against any member of this group
and you will know a new meaning of pain-at the claws of my elderly
half-blind poodle.

May you find yourself the object of the affections of a lovesick
ferret! May the Environmental Protection Agency declare you a
Superfund site! May the Surgeon General determine you hazardous to
health! May lepers declare you unclean. May Larry Flynt dismiss you
as a hopeless pervert. May you be audited by the IRS. May the
Archbishop of Canterbury pronounce you a heretic and issue a fatwa
against you in an ecumenical token gesture against you a common foe
of all mankind. You weasel, you toy, you are a mudball in a
punchbowl! Curse you and curse all who fail to curse you. May the day
you were born be removed from the calendar and may your astrological
sign be officially changed to Stercorem, you bald-headed chicken
plucker. A plague of yapping Chihuahuas upon you! May snails infest
your hair like lice, you fop.

You prove that intelligence does not correlate well to judgment,
maturity or wisdom. Though you may have been blessed with a degree of
unrefined brainpower [which you have yet to manifest] you lack the
responsibility to use it. You are a monkey with a hand grenade. The
small chance that you will achieve anything with your gift is far
outweighed by the high probability that you will blow yourself up.
Since you have no discretion of your own, beg, borrow, or steal some
from others. Until you do, your gifts will be your curse. Your IQ
will be a millstone around your scrawny neck.

Begone, you unguided missile, you mockery of a man, you pimple on the
posterior of this board. You loathsome cur, disaster and disgrace,
model of a miscreant, the gods' cruel prank on mankind. Don't show us
your mindless wrath in a pathetic attempt to defend yourself. You're
indefensible. You're nothing but a loud loser spewing filth, inanity,
and nonsense. Don't drop in another vulgar and unfunny joke. Seek no
sympathy from me. I've had my fill. Don't go away mad, just go away
until you can at least simulate the behavior of a man, not a whiny
maladjusted child.

Next time I'll use the naughty words.

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